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I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

Dick Cavett

My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
DICK CAVETT

Achievement Dreams Myself Night Someday
You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you’re stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, ‘Hey, you’re great! What’s your name again?’
DICK CAVETT

Name Street Surprise Time Yourself
Why are sex and violence always linked? I’m afraid they’ll blur together in people’s minds – sexandviolence – until we can’t tell them apart. I expect to hear a newscaster say, “The mob became unruly and the police were forced to resort to sex.”
DICK CAVETT

Afraid Mindset Myself People Police Sex Violence
Electronic devices dislike me. There is never a day when something isn’t ailing.
DICK CAVETT

Day Device Myself Sick
There were several things a Yale freshman was supposed to be able to do. You had to demonstrate in the Olympic-size Yale pool that you could swim 50 yards or be inducted into swimming class.
DICK CAVETT

Class Fresh Olympic Several Yourself
I have yet to see one of those Comedy Central shows with multiple standup comics that doesn’t include someone the size of the Hindenburg.
DICK CAVETT

Comic Myself See Show Stand
There are online forms you can fill out to send to your lawmakers, demanding that nothing – nothing at all or in any way – be done about any guns whatever, anywhere.
DICK CAVETT

Form Law Online Weapon Yourself
It takes a certain amount of guts to go to your class reunions.
DICK CAVETT

Amount Class Union
Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it’s hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to be what you are.
DICK CAVETT

Comedy Need Resent Writing Yourself
A grown man, weeping, is a tough thing to see.
DICK CAVETT

Growth Man See Tough
There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: ‘What’s your sign?’ Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.
DICK CAVETT

Allow Day Violate
I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.
DICK CAVETT

Away Happiness Myself Stay
The greatest benefit of depression is the fact that when I have talked about it, every so often someone comes up and says, you saved my dad’s life.
DICK CAVETT

Benefit Father Greatness Life Myself
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
DICK CAVETT

Acceptance Financial People Profit Yourself
I’m the only talk show host, I think, if there’s such a category in, what’s called, the book of records, to have a guest die while we were taping the show, yeah.
DICK CAVETT

Book Category Death Record Talk Thinking
I’m sure I’ve all but lost friends by maintaining that, despite their love for it, I always saw Stanley Kramer’s ‘It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World’ as more of an exercise in anti-comedy than humor.
DICK CAVETT

Exercise Friendship Lost Maintenance Myself

I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

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I always wanted to live in a haunted house.

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