I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
ERMA BOMBECKChildren make your life important.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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He who laughs lasts.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
ERMA BOMBECK