“I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.”

I’m afraid of the skeletons in my closet. I’ve got a whole cemetery full of them.

I’m not paid to be a role model, parents should be role models.

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

I was asked for years about being a Republican, probably because most black people are Democrats. My mother heard it once and called me and said ‘Charles, Republicans are for the rich people.’ And I said, ‘Mom, I’m rich.’

I know I’m never as good or bad as one single performance. I’ve never believed in my critics or my worshippers, and I’ve always been able to leave the game at the arena.

I just thank God for Dennis [Rodman], cause he makes me look like a saint.

Kids are great. That’s one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It’s a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

I think anybody who is racist is an idiot whether they are black or white.

When you’re black, you have to deal with so much crap in your life from other black people. It’s a dirty, dark secret; I’m glad it’s coming out.

When you read the book you see that these guys aren’t holding any punches. They’re straightforward. They’re honest. They’re giving you their honest opinion.

I have nothing against old people; I want to be one myself one day.

I don’t worry about playing basketball; that comes natural. I just want to have fun.

You can talk without saying a thing. I don’t ever want to be that type of person.

Poor people have been voting for Democrats for the last 50 years and they’re still poor.

Listening to a woman is almost as bad as losing to one. There are only three things that women are better at than men: cleaning, cooking, and having sex.

But what if I fail of my purpose here? It is but to keep the nerves at strain, to dry one’s eyes and laugh at a fall, and baffled, get up and begin again.

Yet they that know all things but know That all this life can give us is, A child’s laughter, a woman’s kiss.

There is a time to live, a time to die, a time to laugh, and at no time are the three of them very far apart.

I promise I shall never give up, and that I’ll die yelling and laughing, and that until then I’ll rush around this world I insist is holy and pull at everyone’s lapel and make them confess to me and to all.

Laugh often, the universe always falls in love with a little bit of madness.

I have laughed, in bitterness and agony of heart, at the contrast between what I seem and what I am!

I promise I shall never give up, and that I’ll die yelling & laughing.

People will laugh at me, but when they ask me to make a wish for the next life, I will say I want the same parents, same brother and sister, same wife, same friends.