“I am going to build the kind of nation that President Roosevelt hoped for, President Truman worked for, and President Kennedy died for.”

Jerry Ford is so dumb he can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. He’s a nice fellow, but he spent too much time playing football without a helmet.

The Russians feared Ike. They didn’t fear me.

Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.

In a nation of millions and a world of billions, the individual is still the first and basic agent of change.

Knowledge is of two kinds: we know a subject itself, or know where to find it.

Light at the end of the tunnel? We don’t even have a tunnel; we don’t even know where the tunnel is.

…International education cannot be the work of one country. It is the responsibility and promise of all nations. It calls for free exchange and full collaboration…The knowledge of our citizens is one treasure which grows only when it is shared.

While you’re saving your face, you’re losing your ass.

If two men agree on everything, you may be sure that one of them is doing the thinking.

Doing what’s right isn’t the problem. It is knowing what’s right.

There are no favorites in my office. I treat them all with the same general inconsideration.

No national sovereignty rules in outer space. Those who venture there go as envoys of the entire human race. Their quest, therefore, must be for all mankind, and what they find should belong to all mankind.

If you let a bully come in and chase you out of your front yard, he’ll be on your porch and the next day he’ll rape your wife in your own bed.

Lincoln was right about not fooling all the people all the time. But Republicans haven’t given up trying.

Education is the key to opportunity in our society, and the equality of educational opportunity must be the birthright of every citizen.

I’ll tell you what’s at the bottom of it. If you can convince the lowest white man he’s better than the best colored man, he won’t notice you’re picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he’ll empty his pockets for you.

It is only in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance, and our destiny. Every other path leads to a dead end.

Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example of the essential identity of the two tongues.

The death penalty? Give me a break. It’s easy. Abortion? Absolutely easy. Nobody ever thought the constitution prevented restrictions on abortion. Homosexual sodomy? Come on. For 200 years, it was criminal in every state.

I smoke pot because I want to go to heaven before I die.

The longer I live and the more experience I have of the world, the more I am convinced that, after all, the one thing that is most worth living for-and dying for, if need be-is the opportunity of making someone else more happy.

It didn’t kill me when you left still, something within me died.

I sympathize afresh with the mighty Voltaire who, when badgered on his deathbed and urged to renounce the devil, murmured that this was no time to be making enemies.