“Being president is like being a jackass in a hailstorm. There’s nothing to do but to stand there and take it.”

It’s the price of leadership to do the thing you believe has to be done at the time it must be done.

John F. Kennedy was the victim of the hate that was a part of our country. It is a disease that occupies the minds of the few but brings danger to the many.

Our objective in South Vietnam has never been the annihilation of the enemy. It has been to bring about a recognition in Hanoi that its objective – taking over the South by force – could not be achieved.

You aren’t learning anything when you’re talking.

To sustain an environment suitable for man, we must fight on a thousand battlegrounds. Despite all of our wealth and knowledge, we cannot create a redwood forest, a wild river, or a gleaming seashore.

If government is to serve any purpose it is to do for others what they are unable to do for themselves.

The job, of course, will never be finished. For a nation, as for an individual, education is a perpetually unfinished journey, a continuing process of discovery.

In a thousand unseen ways we have drawn shape and strength from the land.

Never miss an opportunity to say a word of congratulation upon anyone’s achievement.

A good president does with executive power what Pablo Picasso did with paint. He takes bills into new and slightly discomfiting territory. He puts extra eyes on policies. He moves the mouth of the Supreme Court from where it should be to where it must be.

Heck by the time a man scratches his behind, clears his throat, and tells me how smart he is, we’ve already wasted fifteen minutes.

Peace is a journey of a thousand miles and it must be taken one step at a time.

I am proud to be a member of a party that opens its doors to all men–and closes its hearts to none.

One hundred years ago, the slave was freed. One hundred years later, the Negro remains in bondage to the color of his skin.

Any man who’s not willing to take half a loaf in a negotiation, well, that man never went to bed hungry.

John ain’t been worth a damn since he started wearing $300 suits.

Carry on, then, if only for the moment that it takes a tiny galaxy to blink!

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

It’s OK to have beliefs, just don’t believe in them.

Playing golf is like going to a strip joint. After 18 holes you are tired and most of your balls are missing.

I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.

I could have sexual chemistry with vinegar.

I know I’m pretty, but I ain’t as pretty as a couple of titties.

How many people here have telekenetic powers? Raise my hand.