“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing – after they’ve tried everything else.”

The price of greatness is responsibility.

Diplomacy is the art of telling people to go to hell in such a way that they ask for directions.

A small lie needs a bodyguard of bigger lies to protect it.

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

Socialism is like a dream. Sooner or later you wake up to reality.

Success comes from continuing to strive, fail and learn without losing enthusiasm.

Our future is in our hands. Our lives are what we choose to make them.

All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from their mistakes.

If you make 10,000 regulations you destroy all respect for the law.

Some men change their party for the sake of their principles; others their principles for the sake of their party.

A nation that fails to honor its heroes, soon will have no heroes to honor.

Never, never, never give in!

There is nothing government can give you that it hasn’t taken from you in the first place.

I’d rather argue against a hundred idiots, than have one agree with me.

We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.

I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

We only have to look at ourselves to see how intelligent life might develop into something we wouldn’t want to meet.

A year ago I came here without a nickle in my pocket, now, I’ve got a nickle in my pocket.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance.

I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called Ego.

I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me.

Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.