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Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Almost every Monday I have a charity thing. I like that. I do.
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Charity Giving
I’m in no condition to drive, wait! I shouldn’t listen to myself, I’m drunk!
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Alcohol Condition Drive Drunk
You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.
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Eat Food Funny Hungry Pizza Sarcastic
Congratulations. I knew the record would stand until it was broken.
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Baseball Broken Record
Records and achievements are made to be broken.
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You wouldn’t have won if we’d beaten you.
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Baseball Motivational Win
50% of all married people are women.
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Funny Marriage One Liner People Women
We have a good time together, even when we’re not together.
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Break Up Divorce I Miss You Past Time Togetherness
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
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Baseball Mental Physical
Nobody goes to that restaurant anymore because it’s too crowded.
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Crowd Restaurant
I don’t blame the players today for the money. I blame the owners. They started it. They wanna give it to ’em? More power to ’em.
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Baseball Blame Money Player Power
The only color I don’t have is navy brown.
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Brown Color
Doing the little things can make a big difference.
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Difference Inspirational Minimalism
I’d give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
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Arms Giving
Laughter is the shock absorber that eases the blows of life.
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Laughter Life Shock
I knew I was going to take the wrong train, so I left early.
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Baseball Inspirational Train

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