There’s nothing that makes me laugh more than being in the situation where you’re not supposed to laugh. Funerals. People crying. Breaking down. Telling you their life. I’m the worst. I’m the worst at that.
TOM WAITSThe big print giveth and the small print taketh away.
More Tom Waits Quotes
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it ain’t no sin, to take off your skin and dance around in your bones
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I put food on the table and roof overhead. But I’d trade it all tomorrow for the highway instead.
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If people are a little nervous about approaching you at the market, it’s good. I’m not Chuckles The Clown. Or Bozo. I don’t cut the ribbon at the opening of markets. I don’t stand next to the mayor. Hit your baseball into my yard, and you’ll never see it again.
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I don’t like the stigma that comes with being called a poet. So I call what I’m doing an improvisational adventure or an inebriational travelogue.
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You have to keep busy. After all, no dog’s ever pissed on a moving car.
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And the earth died screaming, while I lay dreaming.
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You can learn a lot about a woman by getting smashed with her.
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They say that I have no hits and that I’m difficult to work with. And they say that like it’s a bad thing.
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She’s got the whole dark forest living inside of her.
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I’m not fighting for justice. I am not fighting for freedom. I am fighting for my life and another day in the world here.
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New York forces you to be in endless surreal situations.
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I made a wish on a sliver of moonlight A sly grin and a bowl full of stars.
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We are buried beneath the weight of information, which is being confused with knowledge; quantity is being confused with abundance and wealth with happiness. We are monkeys with money and guns.
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I sold a quart of blood and bought a half a pint of scotch.
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It’s very hard to stop doing things you’re used to doing. You almost have to dismantle yourself and scatter it all around and then put a blindfold on and put it back together so that you avoid old habits.
TOM WAITS