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When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?

Tina Fey

My standard answer is that I have the same struggle as any working parent but with the good fortune to be working at my dream job. Or sometimes I just hand them a juicy red apple I’ve poisoned in my working-mother witch cauldron and fly away.
TINA FEY

Answer Apple Cauldron Fortune Good Juicy Mother Parent Poison Same Standard Work
I was a little excited but mostly blorft. “Blorft” is an adjective I just made up that means ‘Completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum.’ I have been blorft every day for the past seven years.
TINA FEY

Adjective Blorfit Excite Little Mean Mostly Stress Witty
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
TINA FEY

Crazy Done Great Like Look Makeup Overcome Photoshop Witty
I’m not that good looking… nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.
TINA FEY

Amazing Four Gay Good Look Lot Movie Nobody Seen Star Team
Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
TINA FEY

Baby Learn Lesson Mean People Really Something Witty
In order to feel safer on his private jet, actor John Travolta has purchased a bomb-sniffing dog. Unfortunately for the actor, the dog came six movies too late.
TINA FEY

Bomb Dog Feel Late Order Purchase Safer Sniff Too
I got a fan letter on the back of a prison menu. And I remember thinking, ‘Well, they get pie. It’s not so bad. They get pie on the weekends.’ I want to say blueberry and also a Boston cream pie. Not so bad.
TINA FEY

Back Bad Fan Pie Remember Think Thinking Weekend Well
I was first in my class at Johns Hopkins, so?” Make statements, with your actions and your voice.
TINA FEY

Action Class Country First Make People Place Statement Voice
I want every day to be the most boring news day ever. I want every day to be about spelling bee champions and baby basketball. It’s better to have no comedy material than a horrific news day.
TINA FEY

Baby Basketball Boring Champion Every Most News Spell
An acting teacher once told me, ‘Greet everything with yes… Even if you abandon one idea for another one, saying yes allows you to move forward.’
TINA FEY

Acting Everything Motivation Moving Teacher Told Yes
You transition as a mother from literally just pulling a booger out of that person’s nose whenever you see one until at some point they assert: “No, I’m a person. You can’t fix my underpants on the subway.”
TINA FEY

Literally Mother Nose One Pull Transition
When a coworker shows me cute pictures of her dog, I struggle to respond correctly, like an autistic person who has been taught to recognize human emotions from flash cards. In short, I am the worst.
TINA FEY

Autistic Coworker Emotion Person Picture Recognize Struggle Taught Worst
Nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet.
TINA FEY

Adult Bunch Creepier Nothing Quiet
When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
TINA FEY

Dress Dresses Fifty Hey Know Life Look Mirror Rehearsal Thought Turn
Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy.
TINA FEY

Athlete Caucasian Classic Country Every Expect Eye Girl Nose Sarcastic
There are no mistakes only opportunities.
TINA FEY

Inspirational Mistake Opportunity Successful

When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?

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When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?

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