Now every girl is expected to have: Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy.
TINA FEYAn interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women’s Affairs. Man, who’d she have to show here ankles to to get that job?
More Tina Fey Quotes
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I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey.
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In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.
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When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, “That girl’s pretty. Who is that?
TINA FEY -
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
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When I turned 50, I looked in the mirror and I thought: “Hey, this isn’t the dress rehearsal, this is life and I don’t know how much longer I’m going to have!”
TINA FEY -
This week, penny collector Gene Sukie went to the bank and cashed in ten thousand pounds of pennies he had collected over 34 years, which were worth over fourteen thousand dollars. And, of course, I was in line behind him.
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Life is improvisation.
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Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts.
TINA FEY -
This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, ‘Okay, that happened, and I did not die.’ You’ve got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.
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In real life, people in the most dire situations must cope through humor.
TINA FEY -
I want to thank my parents for somehow raising me to have confidence that is disproportionate with my looks and abilities.
TINA FEY -
Seriously, I’ve just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it.
TINA FEY -
MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
TINA FEY -
Politics and prostitution have to be the only jobs where inexperience is considered a virtue.
TINA FEY -
Everybody kind of gets to be the person they didn’t get to be.
TINA FEY