“In the modern media age, we are rarely surprised by what we see.”

I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there’s a gas bill tied to it.

I am not really single, I am dating my self , I take my self out to eat, I buy myself clothes, I love me, I’m awesome.

I’m not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

I mean I can do it when I’m very relaxed, and with good friends, then I think I can be amusing.

The right to ridicule is far more important to society than any right not to be ridiculed because one in my view represents openness – and the other represents oppression.

Sometimes I don’t feel like going to work but then I remember I was born cute not rich.

The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance has helped to determine your path through life.

People think because I can make them laugh on the stage, I’ll be able to make them laugh in person. That isn’t the case at all. I am essentially a rather quiet, dull person who just happens to be a performer.

I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

I’m not looking for anything other than an interesting role to play.

The job is interesting, and the task is difficult, but the man is just a decent man doing a very ordinary job.

I’m not a collector. I don’t like the toy cupboard syndrome that causes so many good cars to evaporate.

I consider myself more of a visual comedian than a physical one.

I like to juggle with one ball at a time. Then I put the ball down and do nothing for extended periods of time.

Mr. Bean is essentially a child trapped in the body of a man. All cultures identify with children in a similar way, so he has this bizarre global outreach.

I have always worried about things more than I should.

Will you stay up late with me tonight? sit quietly while I write you into a piece of art that will be a marvel for the ages?

Life is a lonely journey. We expect and even believe that someone will always be there for us, but that illusion fades away with age and time.

Nostalgia seems to haunt me these days I wonder if it’s old age or just a phase.

Sometimes I get my youth confused with age.

I will never be an old man. To me old age is always 15 years older than I am.

The Crusades – the most signal and most durable monument of human folly that has yet appeared in any age or nation.

Age appears best in four things: old wood to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust and old authors to read.

Baby we are not getting older each day we live our new versions and the new has no age.