“Birthday meant to be another year to be Fabulous.”

I am not really single, I am dating my self , I take my self out to eat, I buy myself clothes, I love me, I’m awesome.

I’m not a naturally funny man. I find that I can only be funny, if I become someone else.

I mean I can do it when I’m very relaxed, and with good friends, then I think I can be amusing.

The right to ridicule is far more important to society than any right not to be ridiculed because one in my view represents openness – and the other represents oppression.

Sometimes I don’t feel like going to work but then I remember I was born cute not rich.

The older you get, the more you realise how happenstance has helped to determine your path through life.

People think because I can make them laugh on the stage, I’ll be able to make them laugh in person. That isn’t the case at all. I am essentially a rather quiet, dull person who just happens to be a performer.

I’m as poor as a church mouse, that’s just had an enormous tax bill on the very day his wife ran off with another mouse, taking all the cheese.

I’m not looking for anything other than an interesting role to play.

The job is interesting, and the task is difficult, but the man is just a decent man doing a very ordinary job.

I’m not a collector. I don’t like the toy cupboard syndrome that causes so many good cars to evaporate.

I consider myself more of a visual comedian than a physical one.

I like to juggle with one ball at a time. Then I put the ball down and do nothing for extended periods of time.

Mr. Bean is essentially a child trapped in the body of a man. All cultures identify with children in a similar way, so he has this bizarre global outreach.

I have always worried about things more than I should.

In TV, and in particular in commercials, you don’t really need to explain very much at all.

It feels so scary getting old.

Your birth may be common, But death must be history.

I don’t age anymore .

Every birth has its significant lifetime miracles. We are supposed to forget all but we are also supposed to remember again. The veil of oblivion exists to make it more interesting to discover ourselves again.

I love a card. You know, cards? At birthdays? I collect them.

Never compromise on who you are. You are born with the capacity to achieve greatness if you so desire.

The older you get the more you appreciate being home doing absolutely nothing.

Mortality is very different when you’re 20 to when you’re 50.