Witty Quotes

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MAKE STATEMENTS also applies to us women: Speak in statements instead of apologetic questions. No one wants to go to a doctor who says, “I’m going to be your surgeon? I’m here to talk to you about your procedure?
TINA FEY

Accusatory Applies Class Constantly Eye Look Make Statement Voice Witty
To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.
ANDRE MAUROIS

Avoid Enough Much Must Possess Sufficient Too Witty
It’s not fundamentally different to any other genre, that action is a particular thing.
ADRIAN HODGES

Action Different Fundamental Genre Particular Sound Thing Witty
Gay people don’t actually try to convert people. That’s Jehovah’s Witnesses you’re thinking of.
TINA FEY

Actual Convert Gay People Thinking Witnesses Witty
My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Lone Music Witty
Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.
TINA FEY

Crazy Done Great Like Look Makeup Overcome Photoshop Witty
To say I’m an overrated troll, when you have never even seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair.
TINA FEY

Bridge Bridges Even Guard Overrated Say Seen Troll Witty
My philosophy towards life is to enjoy it to the fullest and have fun. I am one of those ‘laugh-out-loud’ kinds. I am quirky, yet witty.
BIPASHA BASU

Fun Philosophy Witty
(My proudest moment as a child was the time I beat my uncle Pierre at Scrabble with the seven-letter word FARTING.)
TINA FEY

Children Moment Protest Time Uncles Witty
I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Funny Humorous Witty
You have to love your children unselfishly. That’s hard. But it’s the only way.
BARBARA BUSH

Love Thank Witty You
Lesson learned? When people say, “You really, really must” do something, it means you don’t really have to. No one ever says, “You really, really must deliver the baby during labor.” When it’s true, it doesn’t need to be said.
TINA FEY

Baby Learn Lesson Mean People Really Something Witty
I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
JERRY SEINFELD

Anything Cut Idea Time Witty
I always want the action to be witty. I don’t want it to be merely routine.
ADRIAN HODGES

Action Always Merely Routine Witty
Conquered people tend to be witty.
SAUL BELLOW

Conquer People Tent Witty
I love to go to Washington – if only to be near my money.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny Love People Witty
It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist.
TINA FEY

Arrogant Conclude Good Impressively Move Moving Witty Write
Every one is witty for his owne purpose.
GEORGE HERBERT

Owner Purpose Witty
The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.
SYDNEY J. HARRIS

Funny Time Witty
Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.
BARBARA CARTLAND

Men Sex Witty
Advertising in the final analysis should be news.
ADOLPH OCHS

Advertising Business Final News Wise Witty
There is nothing as tragic as being alive and not enjoying life… Life should be celebrated!
JOYCE MEYER

Alive Enjoy Life Witty
My senior year of high school, I was voted Wittiest. So, several years later, I decided to try my hand at writing humor to see if I could be witty enough to make some money.
BARBARA PARK

Senior Witty Writing
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
LAOZI

Deem Humorous Love Witty
I am neither Christian enough nor charitable enough to like anybody just because he is alive and breathing. I want people to interest or amuse me. I want them fascinating and witty or so dul as to be different.
BETTY MACDONALD

Breathing Christian Different Interested Witty
We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.
BERNARD MANNING

Funny Sleep Witty
Our national flower is the concrete cloverleaf.
LEWIS MUMFORD

Flower Funny Witty

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