“Among men, sex sometimes results in intimacy; among women, intimacy sometimes results in sex.”

A woman asking ‘Am I good? Am I satisfied?’ is extremely selfish. The less women fuss about themselves, the less they talk to other women, the more they try to please their husbands, the happier the marriage is going to be.

After forty a woman has to choose between losing her figure or her face. My advice is to keep your face, and stay sitting down.

France is the only place where you can make love in the afternoon without people hammering on your door.

People don’t roll around naked in my books. I do allow them to go to bed if they’re married, but it’s all very wonderful and the moon beams.

I would love to employ a man, but how can I possibly give a man dictation from the bath?

I have always found women difficult. I don’t really understand them. To begin with, few women tell the truth.

The great majority of people in England and America are modest, decent and pure-minded and the amount of virgins in the world today is stupendous.

When you get past fifty, you have to decide whether to keep your face or your figure. I kept my face.

Every man has been brought up with the idea that decent women don’t pop in and out of bed; he has always been told by his mother that “nice girls don’t.” He finds, of course, when he gets older that this may be untrue-but only in a certain section of society.

The right diet directs sexual energy into the parts that matter.

A historical romance is the only kind of book where chastity really counts.

I’ll keep going till my face falls off.

Every woman dreams of love. When she is young she prays she will find it. When she is middle aged she hopes for it and when she is old she remembers it.

You become what you think. You are what you eat.

I always wear boot polish on my eyelashes, because I am a very emotional person and it doesn’t run when I cry.

Good must triumph over evil. It usually does in life and in any case it’s bad for young people to believe it doesn’t.

Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.

Conquered people tend to be witty.

To be witty is not enough. One must possess sufficient wit to avoid having too much of it.

If it were not for the company of fools, a witty man would often be greatly at a loss.

It’s not fundamentally different to any other genre, that action is a particular thing.

I always want the action to be witty. I don’t want it to be merely routine.

Advertising in the final analysis should be news.

Marriage, like money, is still with us; and, like money, progressively devalued.