Golf Quotes

Arnold Palmer is the biggest crowd pleaser since the invention of the portable sanitary facility.

I have never felt so lonely as on a golf course in the midst of a championship with thousands of people around, especially when things began to go wrong and the crowds started wandering away.

Drugs are very much a part of professional sports today, but when you think about it, golf is the only sport where the players aren’t penalized for being on grass.

I can play the game only one way. I must play every shot for all there is in it. I cannot play safe.

They do a heck of a job with the PGA professionals around the country and taking care of the clubs and country clubs and everything else, but when it comes to understanding the guys out here on Tour and everything else, I don’t think they get it because they’re not out here on a regular basis.

Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells ‘Fore!’ the guy he’s hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

Nobody ever swung a club too slowly.

Golf is the one game I know which becomes more and more difficult the longer one plays it.

Golf was my first glimpse of comedy. I was a caddy when I was a kid. I was on the golf course rather than being in lessons, but I can play better now than I could then.

US President Gerald Ford’s golf was so bad we thought he was a ‘Hitman for the PGA!