When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.
QUENTIN CRISPA fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
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The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
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The happiest moments in any affair take place after the loved one has learned to accommodate the lover and before the maddening personality of either party has emerged like a jagged rock from the receding tides of lust and curiosity.
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It’s no good running a pig farm badly for 30 years while saying, ‘Really, I was meant to be a ballet dancer.’ By then, pigs will be your style.
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Nothing shortens a journey so pleasantly as an account of misfortunes at which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
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Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
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The very purpose of existence is to reconcile the glowing opinion we hold of ourselves with the appalling things that other people think about us.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan.
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I take it to be axiomatic that people are revolted by witnessing the shameless gratification of an appetite they do not share.
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And were then to lay his own garden path diagonally from one corner to the other, that man’s soul would be lost. Originality is only to be praised when not prefaced by the look to right and left.
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You will survive if you believe in yourself.
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The worst part of being gay in the twentieth century is all that damn disco music to which one has to listen.
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To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
QUENTIN CRISP






