I don’t really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
QUENTIN CRISPPolitics are not an instrument for effecting social change; they are the art of making the inevitable appear to be a matter of wise human choice.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Ask yourself, if there was to be no blame, and if there was to be no praise, who would I be then?
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For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel and cook.
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Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
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The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it
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The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
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A fair share of anything is starvation diet to an egomaniac.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.
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He knew them only ‘in Braille’ – the curtains were never drawn back in the rooms in Oxford where he met those boys. It was the most sordid life you can imagine. And he was bleating about love and dragging the fair name of Mr. Plato into the trial – after a life like that?
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Keeping up with the Joneses was a full-time job with my mother and father. It was not until many years later when I lived alone that I realized how much cheaper it was to drag the Joneses down to my level.
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What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
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The world now seems a stunningly ignoble place. It has not really grown all that much worse but appears to have done so because we know so much more about it than we did.
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I simply haven’t the nerve to imagine a being, a force, a cause which keeps the planets revolving in their orbits and then suddenly stops in order to give me a bicycle with three speeds.
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To live in the past is to miss today’s opportunities and tomorrow’s blessings.
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Though intelligence is powerless to modify character, it is a dab hand at finding euphemisms for its weaknesses.
QUENTIN CRISP