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An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

Quentin Crisp

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
QUENTIN CRISP

Achieve Disaster Formula never Relationship Simple Successful Treat Trivialities
The measure of woman’s distaste for any part of her life lies not in the loudness of her lamentations (these are only an attempt to buy a martyr’s crown at a reduced price) but in her persistent pursuit of that occupation of which she never ceases to complain.
QUENTIN CRISP

Any Attempt Buy Cease Complain Crown Distaste Kie Lamentation Life Loudness Martyr Measure Occupation Part Persistent Price Pursuit Reduced Woman
Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
QUENTIN CRISP

Another Concentrate Dislike Help Homosexually Mainstream Men One People
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?’
QUENTIN CRISP

Atheist Audience Believe Catholics Country God Northern People Protestants Said Stood Took Woman Yes
What my parents thought of this, I don’t know. But they bore it. And the real problem was not my sin, but my unemployability.
QUENTIN CRISP

Bore Know Parent Problem Real Sin Thought Unemployability
Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who…have already accepted as inevitable the wide gulf between their real futures and the expectations of their fantasies.
QUENTIN CRISP

Accept Already Also Emotional Expression Inevitable Masturbation Natural Outlet Regard Self
My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.
QUENTIN CRISP

Father Mother Protect Threatened World
The trouble with children is that they’re not returnable.
QUENTIN CRISP

Children Returnable Trouble
Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Ask Inside Look Outside Unpack
If you don’t stay in some days, you can’t recharge your batteries.
QUENTIN CRISP

Battery Day Recharge Shat Some
I never say ‘No’ to anything.
QUENTIN CRISP

never No Nothing Say
When asked, ‘Shall I tell my mother I’m gay?’, I reply, ‘Never tell your mother anything.
QUENTIN CRISP

Anything Ask Gay Mother never Shall Tell
If Mr. Vincent Price were to be co-starred with Miss Bette Davis in a story by Mr. Edgar Allan Poe directed by Mr. Roger Corman, it could not fully express the pent-up violence and depravity of a single day in the life of the average family.
QUENTIN CRISP

Average Day Depravity Direct Express Family Fully Life People Person Price Single Starred Story Violence
The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
QUENTIN CRISP

Almost City Country Drench History Terrible Trouble
It’s been agony but I couldn’t have done it any other way.
QUENTIN CRISP

Agony Been Could Done Have Other Way
I went out into the world when I was about 22. I wrote books and I illustrated books and did book covers, and I taught tap-dancing, and I was a model in the art school. I had no ability for any of those things, but what else could I do?
QUENTIN CRISP

Ability Art Bool Cover Dance Illustrated Model School Tap Taught Tow Twenty Went World

An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

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An autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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