Vice is its own reward.
QUENTIN CRISPAn autobiography is an obituary in serial form with the last installment missing.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Because it is in the nature of things that they become extreme, we have passed down from manliness to cruelty. If I had been told when I was 20 that there was a tavern in the town where the brave and the cruel were gathered together,
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Happiness is the only thing I understand.
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Of course I lie to people. But I lie altruistically – for our mutual good. The lie is the basic building block of good manners. That may seem mildly shocking to a moralist – but then what isn’t?
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It’s a strange situation, but people will pay your fare to get you to go and tell them how to be happy.
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Never get involved with someone who wants to change you
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In England, nobody’s your friend.
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I don’t think you can really be proud of being gay because it isn’t something you’ve done. You can only be proud of not being ashamed.
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I don’t really act. I say the words the way I would say them if I meant them.
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Is not the whole world a vast house of assignation of which the filing system has been lost?
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?’
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Look inward and ask not if there is anything outside you want, but whether there is anything inside that you have not yet unpacked.
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In England, the system is benign and the people are hostile. In America, the people are friendlyand the system is brutal!
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When I was young, we thought that Oscar Wilde was a great nobleman who had thrown his life away for love. Nothing could be less true. He slept with East Enders who were procured for him by Lord Alfred Douglas.
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I never spend my time doing anything I’ll have to do again tomorrow.
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If at first you don’t succeed, failure may be your style.
QUENTIN CRISP






