Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
QUENTIN CRISPIf a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had laid his garden path round a central lawn; and were to look over the fence on the other side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his right had laid his path down the middle of the lawn.
More Quentin Crisp Quotes
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Our clothes are too much a part of us for most of us ever to be entirely indifferent to their condition: it is as though the fabric were indeed a natural extension of the body, or even of the soul.
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If you don’t stay in some days, you can’t recharge your batteries.
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The trouble with European cities is that they are drenched in their history, almost all of which is terrible.
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I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some of the back pay!
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, ‘Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don’t believe?’
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Flowers are words even a baby can understand.
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If love means anything at all it means extending your hand to the unlovable.
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People are not heterosexual or homosexual, just sexual.
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The more people one has to love, the more one’s capacity to love stretches.
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I have to realise that as I am only English and am allowed to live in America, I have to give something in return. And since I cannot build a hospital, or endow a university, I can only give my infinite availability.
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You fall out of your mother’s womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave.
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Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret.
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Mainstream people dislike homosexuality because they can’t help concentrating on what homosexual men do to one another. And when you contemplate what people do, you think of yourself doing it. And they don’t like that. That’s the famous joke:
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However low a man sinks he never reaches the level of the police.
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If you describe things as better than they are, you are considered to be a romantic; if you describe things as worse than they are, you will be called a realist; and if you describe things exactly as they are, you will be thought of as a satirist.
QUENTIN CRISP