Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
P. J. O'ROURKEWe will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren’t there.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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My dad died when I was young; my mom remarried with more haste than sense to a fellow… he wasn’t evil or anything, but he was worthless.
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Political systems are run by self-selecting politicians. We don’t draft people; it’s not jury duty.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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Liberals have invented whole college majors – psychology, sociology and women’s studies – to prove that nothing is anybody’s fault.
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To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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I believe in God. God created the world.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
P. J. O'ROURKE