There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
P. J. O'ROURKENever be unfaithful to a lover, except with your wife.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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Sometimes the right response to evil is an appeal to powerful and effective social organization – an appeal to civilization itself.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
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I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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Let’s reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools – and use it on the teachers.
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The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
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If you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
P. J. O'ROURKE