Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'ROURKEHumans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we’re looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn’t test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum.
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What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it’s so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I’ve received a spam text.
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Israel is slightly smaller than New Jersey. Moses in effect led the tribes of Israel out of the District of Columbia, parted Chesapeake Bay near Annapolis, and wandered for forty years in Delaware.
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Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.
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The world is being run by irresponsible spoiled brats.
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I’m too tough and sensitive to have to have some pubescent twerp with his mom’s earring in his tongue, who combs his hair with Redi-Whip and has an Ani DiFranco tattoo on his shin, come show me how a computer works.
P. J. O'ROURKE