If you ask the government to solve all of your problems, it’s a bit like asking your wife to cook and clean, to raise the children, to hold down a second job to help with the family finances, to keep her parents happy and well and keep your parents happy and well, and to also – to do the lawn and clean the gutters.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as ‘caring’ and ‘sensitive’ because he wants to expand the government’s charitable programs is merely saying that he’s willing to try to do good with other people’s money.
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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Stupid is a great force in human affairs.
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world.
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The minute somebody joins a committee… they immediately suffer from committee brain. They become wildly over-enthusiastic, over-optimistic, over-pessimistic. Committees turn people into idiots, and politics is a committee.
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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Southern California is a nice place, if you could cut out the show-business cancer. It just keeps spreading.
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Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does it to somebody else. This is the idea behind foreign policy.
P. J. O'ROURKE