Richard Nixon was the best thing that ever happened to journalism. I mean this guy was wonderful. Just when you thought he could get no worse, he got worse.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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People will tell you anything but what they do is always the truth.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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The proper behavior all through the holiday season is to be drunk. This drunkenness culminates on New Year’s Eve, when you get so drunk you kiss the person you’re married to.
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I’m old enough to remember when the air over American cities was a lot dirtier than it is now.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
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Kuwait City is not gorgeous, actually, but it’s got a kind of Epcot Center thing going for it. It’s not pretty. But it’s striking, I’ll give it that. It’s not as over-the-top as Abu Dhabi or Dubai. But nearly.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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When elites see a homeless person in the gutter, they assume he’s saving a parking place.
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Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them on us.
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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Why do elites hate the poor? It’s xenophobia. They don’t know any poor people – except their off-the-books Brazilian nanny and illegal immigrant cleaning lady from Upper Revolta who don’t speak English.
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When I’m in the car, I want the only one shouting to be me.
P. J. O'ROURKE