I’ve got a 1990 Porsche 911. It’s just a Carrera, a very simple, straightforward little thing that goes like stink. I love it.
P. J. O'ROURKEThe 20th century was a test bed for big ideas – fascism, communism, the atomic bomb.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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I rarely meet a politician that I don’t like personally. They are generally well endowed with charm. Therein lies the danger.
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Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
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They are just really stupid people in Hollywood. You write them a script, and they say they love it, they absolutely love it. Then they say, ‘But doesn’t it need a small dog, and an Eskimo, and shouldn’t it be set in New Guinea?’ And you say, ‘But it is a sophisticated romantic comedy set in Paris.’
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The problem in Afghanistan is really not so much land as water. It’s a dry country with ample amounts of water running through it, but not to good enough effect.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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All change is bad. But sometimes it has to be done.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
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Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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Term limits aren’t enough. We need jail.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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Death is so important that God visited death upon his own son, thereby helping us learn right from wrong well enough that we may escape death forever and live eternally in God’s grace.
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Will Generation X and the Millennials do a better job running the world than the boomers have? Let’s hope so.
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By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire.
P. J. O'ROURKE