There is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
P. J. O'ROURKEIf you spend 72 hours in a place you’ve never been, talking to people whose language you don’t speak about social, political, and economic complexities you don’t understand, and you come back as the world’s biggest know-it-all, you’re a reporter. Either that or you’re President Obama.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Russians not only vehemently despise blacks, they believe Africa begins at the Ukraine border.
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A U.S. dollar is an IOU from the Federal Reserve Bank. It’s a promissory note that doesn’t actually promise anything. It’s not backed by gold or silver.
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.
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There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
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Bill Clinton is not a hypocrite. If a man believes that it is just and moral to redistribute wealth, there is nothing hypocritical in his attempts to redistribute some of that wealth to himself.
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Catchphrases flourish in contemporary American English.
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Liberals are always proposing perfectly insane ideas, laws that will make everybody happy, laws that will make everything right, make us live forever, and all be rich. Conservatives are never that stupid.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.
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I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
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Like most sensible people, you probably lost interest in modern art about the time that Julian Schnabel was painting broken pieces of the crockery that his wife had thrown at him for painting broken pieces of crockery instead of painting the bathroom and hall.
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Nobody is making Americans buy Chinese goods.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
P. J. O'ROURKE






