The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it.
P. J. O'ROURKEGovernment is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Supposedly, summer vacation happens because that’s when the kids are home from school, although having the kids home from school is no vacation. And supposedly the kids are home from school because of some vestigial throwback to our agricultural past.
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In its worse forms, conservatism is a matter of ‘I hate strangers and anything that’s different.’
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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There isn’t much room for an outsider point of view in print any more.
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life.
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Finland is a rich country. What have they got? They got Nokia phones and plywood. How’d they get so rich? Because they’re free.
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants.
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When you’re a war correspondent, the reader is for you because the reader is saying, ‘Gee, I wouldn’t want to be doing that.’ They’re on your side.
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No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it’s probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
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Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I’m not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
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The budget doesn’t have much control over the government. Then again, the government doesn’t have much control over the budget.
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A humorist doesn’t really do that much note-taking.
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I’ve been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers.
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There is only one thing that gives me hope as a Republican, and that is the Democrats. It’s going to be hard to do a worse job running American than the Republicans have, but if anybody can do it, it’s the Democrats.
P. J. O'ROURKE