I read good. I was an English major.
P. J. O'ROURKEGovernment is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You’d better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.
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I come from Toledo, Ohio, a town that has been hurt badly by the shift of the automobile business towards Japan. And yet I remember how the car workers lived in the neighborhood that I grew up in. My father was a car salesman, and I remember how we lived. I remember how modestly we lived.
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I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
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Gossip is what you say about the objects of flattery when they aren’t present.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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The beauty of democracy is that an average, random, unremarkable citizen can lead it.
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Never fight an inanimate object.
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The C student starts a restaurant. The A student writes restaurant reviews.
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Family love is messy, clinging, and of an annoying and repetitive pattern, like bad wallpaper.
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The mystery of government is not how Washington works but how to make it stop.
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Seriousness is stupidity sent to college.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
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Maybe climate change is a threat, and maybe climate change has been tarted up by climatologists trolling for research grant cash. It doesn’t matter.
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there.
P. J. O'ROURKE






