We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'ROURKEThere is no horizon in Toledo. There are too many trees.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn’t work and then they get elected and prove it.
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Everybody is xenophobic to an extent.
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Adam Smith’s huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.
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Wealth brings great benefits to the world. Rich people are heros.
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I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a ‘learning experience.’ Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I’ve done as a ‘learning experience.’ It makes me feel less stupid.
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Call a man ‘ignorant,’ and you have license to show the world your vast fund of knowledge and wise him up.
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry – knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission.
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Don’t send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
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Government is a health hazard. Governments have killed many more people than cigarettes or unbuckled seat belts ever have.
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Some people think that welfare reform should have hurt Bill Clinton with black voters.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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I like fiction and the kind of history that gives the grace and flavor of fiction to the past. No bloviation on current events, please. I can write that junk myself.
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Never wear anything that panics the cat.
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Some people have facts; these can be proven. Some people have theories; these can be disproven. But people with opinions are mindless and have their minds made up about it.
P. J. O'ROURKE