Just because a subject is serious doesn’t mean it doesn’t have plenty of absurdities.
P. J. O'ROURKENever wear anything that panics the cat.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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America has to act. But, when America acts, other nations accuse us of being ‘hegemonistic’, of engaging in ‘unilateralism’, of behaving as if we’re the only nation on earth that counts. We are.
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The most brilliant satire of all time was ‘A Modest Proposal’ by Jonathan Swift. You’ll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out.
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Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
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The perpetuation of slavery, the exile and extermination of American Indians, and the passage of Jim Crow laws weren’t carried out at the bidding of a few malefactors of great wealth.
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I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
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I read good. I was an English major.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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People are not ants or bees. We do not reason or love or live or die collectively.
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences.
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The people who despise America are the editors of the ‘New Statesman.’ Their green-card applications must have been turned down.
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The baby boomers’ politics have covered a wide band of silliness, from the Weather Underground to the Timothy McVeigh types. The great majority of us are well in the middle of that spectrum, but still, there’s been both leftie silliness and right-wing silliness.
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Global warming is a fact. Now it’s up to liberals to make it a reality. Hence there is crucial importance in preventing powerful, greedy free market forces from getting in the way of worsening storms and rising sea levels. The Kyoto Accord is a good first step.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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Everybody in the Middle East wants to explain why they’re right.
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The good news is that, according to the Obama administration, the rich will pay for everything. The bad news is that, according to the Obama administration, you’re rich.
P. J. O'ROURKE






