Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
P. J. O'ROURKEA hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.
More P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
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Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
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The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
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I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
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Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
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Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
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You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
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I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
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I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
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If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
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The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
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Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
P. J. O'ROURKE