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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

P. J. O'Rourke

Mikhail Gorbachev was the Jimmy Carter of the Communist bloc. The Russians hate him.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Cater Communist Country Hate People Person
Wealth is not a pizza, where if I have too many slices you have to eat the Domino’s box.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Box Domino Eat Many Pizza Slice Wealth
In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Another Brief Death History Impeach National Out President Thousand Worry
Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Animal Children Eat Exception Human Purpose
The French are a smallish, monkey-looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Better Average Citizen Country French Monkey Smallish
I was very much in favor of the Iraq invasion.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Favor Invasion Mush
Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Biological Child Each Fact Fatherhood Mother Requires Well
Ending wars is very simple if you surrender.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Edit Simply Surrender
You can’t get rid of poverty by giving people money.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Give Money People Poverty Rid
I don’t even know which end of a computer one is supposed to gaze into. I’ve never used a computer.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Computer Gaze Know One Suppose Use
I know quite a few fellow members of the news analysis and commentary business, and I have it from the highest-placed sources, on the record, that each and every one of our children is a genius.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Analysis Commentary Fellow High Member News Place Quite Source
Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Country Destabilize Nation Religious
If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Government Illegal Product Sell
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Ask Came Children Form Go Grow Know Tell
The best and brightest don’t go into politics. The best and brightest are at Goldman Sachs.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Best Bright Brightest Goldman Politics
Preachers at black churches are the last people left in the English-speaking world who know the schemes and tropes of classical rhetoric: parallelism, antithesis, epistrophe, synecdoche, metonymy, periphrasis, litotes – the whole bag of tricks.
P. J. O'ROURKE

Black Church Classical English People Preach Scheme Speak Troop

A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

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A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat.

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Popular Authors

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