“My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible.”

Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you’ve gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them.

These men both publicly and privately have done so much for me. Without Nathan Lane and Matthew Broderick I would be living in a little motel just around the corner here, trying to make ends meet.

No, no, the songs write themselves, almost.

All short women have a delayed fuse. Marry a taller woman: My wife was an inch or two taller than me; it’s a sign of security.

I loved Westerns as a little kid, and I loved horror films.

If Shaw and Einstein couldn’t beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none.

I love writing songs. I’m a songwriter.

If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.

When you come to Germany as a Jew you have an uneasy feeling, but I’ve always felt okay in Berlin.

Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy.

I’m still a horse that can run. I may not be able to win the Derby, but what do you do when you retire? People retire and they vegetate. They go away and they dry up.

Humor is just another defense against the universe.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.

You’re always a little disappointing in person because you can’t be the edited essence of yourself.

You’ve got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you’re not alive.

Oh, I’m not a true genius. I’m a near genius. I would say I’m a short genius. I’d rather be tall and normal than a short genius.

Far too many young people are living in their parents’ basements, and I think it is important for people to have hope and a vision things can be different.

I observe my thoughts and entertain only those that empower me.

It is hard that people don’t just let you do your job for them and entertain, and then carry on your own life.

I’m about caring, I’m about people, and I’m about entertaining people. I’m a family man. A husband. A father.

I don’t try to sensationalize anybody. I’m not trying to entertain. I’m trying to give information and give access to me and tell about our program.

I just want to make pictures that are entertaining. I’ll leave the scenery chewing to someone else.

Whenever I climb I have to also entertain.

These songs are old friends I have entertained myself with when I’m washing the dishes, driving to the store and walking down the aisles.