You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
LEWIS GRIZZARDYou call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, ‘What’s in it for me?’
LEWIS GRIZZARDThere is something wrong when you wait in line thirty minutes to get a hamburger that was cooked for ninety seconds an hour ago.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThere’s no such thing as being too Southern.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThe idiot who invented instant grits also thought of frozen fried chicken, and they ought to lock him up before he tries to freeze-dry collards.
LEWIS GRIZZARDIt’s difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.
LEWIS GRIZZARDInstead of getting married again, I’m going to find a woman I don’t like and give her a house.
LEWIS GRIZZARDI get letters from people who say, ‘What have you got against women?’ What could I possibly have against women? I’ve married three of them.
LEWIS GRIZZARDLife is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.
LEWIS GRIZZARDMoney doesn’t grow on trees, and if it did somebody else would own the orchard.
LEWIS GRIZZARDMama had an appreciation of the language. She taught me a love of words, of how they should be used and how they can fill a creative soul with a passion and lead to a life’s work.
LEWIS GRIZZARDWhen My Love Returns from the Ladies Room, Will I Be Too Old to Care?
LEWIS GRIZZARDLife is like a dogsled race. If you ain’t the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
LEWIS GRIZZARDElvis is dead and I don’t feel so good for myself.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThe game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems, block your fears, and score your points when you get the opportunity.
LEWIS GRIZZARDThey tore out my heart and stomped that sucker flat.
LEWIS GRIZZARDYankees don’t understand that the Southern way of talking is a language of nuance. What we can do in the South is we can take a word and change it just a little bit and make it mean something altogether different.
LEWIS GRIZZARD