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If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

Kurt Vonnegut

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.
KURT VONNEGUT

Death Goodness Time
I couldn’t help wondering if that was what God put me on Earth for–to find out how much a man could take without breaking.
KURT VONNEGUT

Break God Help Man Myself Pain
You were sick, but now you’re well again, and there’s work to do.
KURT VONNEGUT

Sick Yourself
The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected.
KURT VONNEGUT

Difference Election
Maturity, is knowing what your limitations are, Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be said to remedy anything.
KURT VONNEGUT

Disappointment Existence Laughter Limitation Yourself
We’d been apart so long-I’d been dead so long, she said in English. I thought surely you’d built a new life, with no room in it for me. I’d hoped that.
KURT VONNEGUT

Death Hope Life Myself
Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.
KURT VONNEGUT

Believe Fantasy Hands Myself Science
So the America I loved still exists, if not in the White House or the Supreme Court or the Senate or the House of Representatives or the media. The America I love still exists at the front desks of our public libraries.
KURT VONNEGUT

Existence Library Myself Ourselves
The worst thing that could possibly happen to anybody would be to not be used for anything by anybody. Thank you for using me, even though I didn’t want to be used by anybody.
KURT VONNEGUT

Myself Possible Thankful Worst
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before. He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way.
KURT VONNEGUT

Hard Himself Ignorance Learning Man People Wisdom
Say what you will about the sweet miracle of unquestioning faith, I consider a capacity for it terrifying and absolutely vile.
KURT VONNEGUT

Faith Myself Thinking Yourself
If somebody says ‘I love you’ to me, I feel as though I had a pistol pointed at my head. What can anybody reply under such conditions but that which the pistol holder requires? ‘I love you, too’.
KURT VONNEGUT

Feeling I Love You Myself
Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.
KURT VONNEGUT

Creation Lesson Writing Yourself
The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.
KURT VONNEGUT

Alive Last Myself People Powerful
Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It’s hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It’s round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you’ve got a hundred years here. There’s only one rule that I know of, babies- God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.
KURT VONNEGUT

Cold Kindness Summer Winter Yourself
Ting-a-ling mother fucker.
KURT VONNEGUT

One Liner

If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

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If your brains were dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow your hat off.

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