I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
JOSEPH HELLERThe laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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While none of the work we do is very important, it is important that we do a great deal of it.
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I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have nothing all night long.
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Men went mad and were rewarded with medals.
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The enemy is anybody who’s going to get you killed, no matter which side he is on.
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It doesn’t make a damned bit of difference who wins the war to someone who’s dead.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
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You know, that might be the answer – to act boastfully about something we ought to be ashamed of. That’s a trick that never seems to fail.
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He knew everything there was to know about literature, except how to enjoy it.
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Every writer I know has trouble writing.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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Death to all modifiers, he declared one day, and out of every letter that passed through his hands went every adverb and every adjective.
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Rise above principal and do what’s right.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
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Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t after you.
JOSEPH HELLER