I don’t believe in miracles because it’s been a long time since we’ve had any.
JOSEPH HELLERThe laws of nature are only as immutable as the minds which promote them. Ignorance of the law is 9/10ths of the law. Just because you aren’t paranoid doesn’t mean they aren’t out to get you.
More Joseph Heller Quotes
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The villains will come along. There were plenty in the Carter administration, and there will be plenty with Reagan.
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Prostitution gives her an opportunity to meet people. It provides fresh air and wholesome exercise, and it keeps her out of trouble.
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He was going to live forever, or die in the attempt.
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The question is: what is a sane man to do in an insane society?
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When I look up, I see people cashing in. I don’t see heaven or saints or angels. I see people cashing in on every decent impulse and every human tragedy.
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For war there is always enough. It’s peace that’s expensive.
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When people disagreed with him he urged them to be objective.
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He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody
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In the long run, failure was the only thing that worked predictably. All else was accidental.
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When I grow up I want to be a little boy.
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Rise above principal and do what’s right.
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They agreed that it was neither possible nor necessary to educate people who never questioned anything.
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What do you do when it rains?” The captain answered frankly. “I get wet.
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All of my books deal in a very rough, rude fashion with subjects about which there are great conflicts of opinion.
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Where were you born?” “On a battlefield,” [Yossarian] answered. “No, no. In what state were you born?” “In a state of innocence.
JOSEPH HELLER