“We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.”

How is it possible to expect that mankind will take advice when they will not so much as take warning.

War: that mad game the world so loves to play.

Ale is meat, drink and cloth; it will make a cat speak and a wise man dumb.

If a lump of soot falls into the soup and you cannot conveniently get it out, stir it well in and it will give the soup a French taste.

Politics, as the word is commonly understood, are nothing but corruptions.

It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into.

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.

Every day is an opportunity to make a new happy ending. May you live all the days of your life.

It is a maxim among these lawyers, that whatever hath been done before, may legally be done again: and therefore they take special care to record all the decisions formerly made against common justice and the general reason of mankind.

I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

No wise man ever wished to be younger.

The stoical scheme of supplying our wants by lopping off our desires, is like cutting off our feet when we want shoes.

An idle reason lessens the weight of the good ones you gave before.

May you live all the days of your life.

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

It is impossible that anything so natural, so necessary, and so universal as death, should ever have been designed by providence as an evil to mankind.

I hate the idea of always having to interpret other people’s ideas and thoughts and words, because I’m very independent and, I guess, a free thinker.

I love it. I hate that word (fatherhood), but I love being a father; it’s changed everything in so many ways.

The best way to counter-attack a hater is to make it blatantly obvious that their attack has had no impact on you.

People who hate trouble generally get a good deal of it.

It is a curious subject of observation and inquiry, whether hatred and love be not the same thing at bottom.

You can’t say you love your country and hate your government.

It feels better to love than to hate.

And now I have to confess the unpardonable and the scandalous. I am a happy man. And I am going to tell you the secret of my happiness. It is quite simple. I love mankind. I love love. I hate hate. I try to understand and accept.