“What a slut time is. She screws everybody.”

Your responsibility is not to the people you’re making the gift for, but the gift itself.

I enjoy looking at beautiful people, and I decided a while ago not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence

You can love someone so much but you can never love people as much as you can miss them.

You cannot invent an algorithm that is as good at recommending books as a good bookseller.

You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful.

The pleasure of remembering had been taken from me, because there was no longer anyone to remember with.

It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.

The town was paper, but the memories were not.

Everything that comes together falls apart.

You like someone who can’t like you back because unrequited love can be survived in a way that once-requited love cannot.

I ran like a cheetah – well, like a cheetah that smoked too much.

You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices.

Whatever you’re worried about, you’re bigger than the worries.

Sometimes you lose a battle. But mischief always wins the war.

What’s the meaning of life? Other people.

Not that smart. Not that hot. Not that nice. Not that funny. That’s me: I’m not that.

I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on.

I’m half Hawaiian and the haka is a very sacred thing, something your family teaches you – my father taught me.

Men get laid, but women get screwed.

In Los Angeles all the loose objects in the country were collected, as if America had been tilted and everything that wasn’t tightly screwed down had slid into Southern California.

I admit I’m being paid well, but it’s no more than I deserve. After all, I’ve been screwed more times than a hooker.

I’ve screwed up a lot, but I’ve always admitted it.

My knee is screwed. I had the meniscus cut out.

I look at the newspapers, and I cannot believe most of the stories I read. Bernie Madoff, who actually screwed millions of people for billions of dollars.