“Everything can be made fun of. The most serious things are ripe for making fun of them.”

People need motivation to do anything. I don’t think human beings learn anything without desperation.

Free cable is the ultimate aphrodisiac.

You know the trouble with real life? There’s no danger music.

Ever since I started to get recognition I’ve picked out certain fans and reverse-stalked them.

Acting is divine dissatisfaction. It’s the greatest thing in the world to do, but you are never satisfied with it ever.

Ya know what I do almost every day? I wash. Personal hygiene is part of the package with me.

I really believe in the philosophy that you create your own universe. I’m just trying to create a good one for myself.

Life opens up opportunities to you, and you either take them or you stay afraid of taking them.

I learned many great lessons from my father, not the least of which, was that you can fail at what you don’t want so you might as well take a chance on doing what you love.

My father used to brag that I wasn’t a ham, I was the whole pig.

I just want to be myself.

I’ve arrived at the place if I’m not taking a career risk, I’m not happy. If I’m scared, then I know I’m being challenged.

150 people die every year from being hit by falling coconuts. Not to worry, drug makers are developing a vaccine.

My soul is not contained within the limits of my body. My body is contained within the limitlessness of my soul.

When things are really bad the only thing to do is laugh.

I feel like I want to take care of everyone and I also feel this terrible guilt if I am unable to. And I have felt this way ever since all this success started.