There are more social skills required to talk one-on-one [than to an audience]. You don’t have to be socially fluid to talk to two thousand people.
JERRY SEINFELDSurveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
More Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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I didn’t know every day I would be discussing the tone of my voice with my wife. I thought it was a marriage. Apparently, it’s a musical.
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Once you start doing only what you’ve already proven you can do, you’re on the road to death.
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If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
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Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
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I was the best man at the wedding… If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?
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See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to hold the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
JERRY SEINFELD -
You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
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I can’t go to a bad movie by myself. What, am I gonna make sarcastic remarks to strangers?
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I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
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[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who’s … normal … I’m not curious, I’m not interested.
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Pain is usually represented by lightning attacking the guy. Glowing redness is also popular. Sometimes parts of the guy would just burst into flames.
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The best revenge is living well.
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Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on ‘How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?
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I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just something I’m very aware of.
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There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
JERRY SEINFELD