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I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

Jerry Seinfeld

You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweatpants? You’re telling the world, ‘I give up. I can’t compete in normal society. I’m miserable, so I might as well be comfortable.
JERRY SEINFELD

Give Send Sweatpant World
The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to make strangers laugh, and Make people talk like you because it’s so much fun.
JERRY SEINFELD

Friends Fun Laughter Stranger
Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.
JERRY SEINFELD

Average Country Funeral Mean People
Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you’re comfortable with.
JERRY SEINFELD

Bless Life Torture
Magazines are another medium I love, because 95% is simply based on ‘How the hell are we going to fill all this blank space?
JERRY SEINFELD

Love Magazines Medium Space
I’ve been car crazy my whole life, since I was nine years old. It’s just something I’m very aware of.
JERRY SEINFELD

Car Crazy Years
If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don’t you ever see anyone take one to the beach?
JERRY SEINFELD

Airline Beach Devices
See, you know how to take the reservation, you just don’t know how to hold the reservation and that’s really the most important part of the reservation, the holding. Anybody can just take them.
JERRY SEINFELD

Important Know Reservation Reservations
That’s why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.
JERRY SEINFELD

Breakup Build Immunity Three Two
The toughest nights when I was a young, unknown comedian were opening for these real old-time Italian singers. I’m like Grace Jones to them. “This guy is nuts-talking about socks. Where’s the wife jokes, where’s the fat jokes?”
JERRY SEINFELD

Comedian Funny Night Real
This is one of my big things of creative pursuits. You have your idea you want to do, but then you got to figure out what does this thing want to be? You got to let it lead you a little.
JERRY SEINFELD

Creative Idea Pursuit Want
If I want a long, boring story with no point to it, I have my life.
JERRY SEINFELD

Bore Long Need Stories
The best revenge is living well.
JERRY SEINFELD

Bestt Live Revenge Well
I love how you just make coffee and then somehow something gets done.
JERRY SEINFELD

Coffee Emotion Make Somehow
Wise is what you want to be. Smart is easy compared to wise.
JERRY SEINFELD

Compare Need Smart Wise
I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.
JERRY SEINFELD

Anything Cut Idea Time Witty

I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

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I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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