“Don’t ever give anybody your best advice, because they’re not going to follow it.”

If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women.

There were points in my life where I felt oddly irresistible to women. I’m not in that state now and that makes me sad.

We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We’re in a race against time, until we run out of money.

I can’t hit on women in public any more. I didn’t decide this; it just doesn’t feel right at my age.

The average celebrity meets, in one year, ten times the amount of people that the average person meets in his entire life.

My motto is more good times.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

With my sunglasses on, I’m Jack Nicholson. Without them, I’m fat and 60.

It’s a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways so I’ve never had any trouble identifying with the character that I’m playing.

I don’t think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

There’s only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend.

A lot of people can’t remember things because they weren’t actually there to begin with – they don’t take it all in.

Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don’t love.

Acting is everybody’s favorite second job.

Well, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I haven’t been a rogue most of my life.

Played tennis for years. But you can’t improve at tennis after you’re 50. You get to be in your 40s, and suddenly you’re a doubles player.

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.

If you can’t do it, give up!

In the small matters trust the mind, in the large ones the heart.

If I can give you one strong piece of advice, when you go away for that romantic weekend, whatever you do, do not accept or take the upgrade to the honeymoon suite.

If you want to become a great chef, you have to work with great chefs. And that’s exactly what I did.

The best fashion advice I’d say would be just to do what makes you comfortable and what makes you feel cute, and that’s how you’re gonna look your best ’cause when you feel your best, everybody else can feel it, too.

Two things you need to remember: 1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. 2. It’s ALL small stuff.

Stubbornness destroys good advice.