“We are going as fast as we can as soon as we can. We’re in a race against time, until we run out of money.”

Don’t ever give anybody your best advice, because they’re not going to follow it.

I can’t hit on women in public any more. I didn’t decide this; it just doesn’t feel right at my age.

The average celebrity meets, in one year, ten times the amount of people that the average person meets in his entire life.

My motto is more good times.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

With my sunglasses on, I’m Jack Nicholson. Without them, I’m fat and 60.

It’s a slight stretch of the imagination but most people are alike in most ways so I’ve never had any trouble identifying with the character that I’m playing.

I don’t think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.

There’s only two people in your life you should lie to… the police and your girlfriend.

A lot of people can’t remember things because they weren’t actually there to begin with – they don’t take it all in.

Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don’t love.

Acting is everybody’s favorite second job.

Well, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I haven’t been a rogue most of my life.

Played tennis for years. But you can’t improve at tennis after you’re 50. You get to be in your 40s, and suddenly you’re a doubles player.

Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.

Almost everybody’s happy to be a fool for love.

We can’t win – if we nominate someone – if we nominate someone that half of the Republican Party hates, we’re going to be fighting against each other all the way to November [of 2016]. We will never win that way.

We have to distrust each other. It is our only defense against betrayal.

Somebody must show that the Afro-American race is more sinned against than sinning, and it seems to have fallen upon me to do so.

The political machine triumphs because it is a united minority acting against a divided majority.

Illnesses do not come upon us out of the blue. They are developed from small daily sins against Nature. When enough sins have accumulated, illnesses will suddenly appear.

If we are to be happy, we must first react against our tendency to follow the line of least resistance, a tendency that causes us either to remain as we are, or to look primarily to activities external to ourselves for what will provide new impetus to our lives.

Temptation, if it is not to conquer, must not fall like a bomb against another bomb of instantaneous moral explosions, but against the strong walls of an impregnable fortress strongly built up, stone by stone, beginning at that distant day when the foundations were first laid.

Man is the unnatural animal, the rebel child of nature, and more and more does he turn himself against the harsh and fitful hand that reared him.