“Then Merry heard of all sounds in that hour the strangest. It seemed that Dernhelm laughed, and the clear voice was like the ring of steel. But no living man am I!”

It’s the job that’s never started as takes longest to finish.

May it be a light to you in dark places, when all other lights go out.

I was talking aloud to myself. A habit of the old: they choose the wisest person present to speak to

For like a shaft, clear and cold, the thought pierced him that in the end the Shadow was only a small and passing thing: there was light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach.

Come, Mr. Frodo!’ he cried. ‘I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you.

Some who have read the book, or at any rate have reviewed it, have found it boring, absurd, or contemptible, and I have no cause to complain, since I have similar opinions of their works, or of the kinds of writing that they evidently prefer.

It is perilous to study too deeply the arts of the Enemy, for good or for ill.

I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.

It is not despair, for despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. We do not.

I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led. And through the air, I am he that walks unseen.

There are no safe paths in this part of the world. Remember you are over the Edge of the Wild now, and in for all sorts of fun wherever you go.

Oft hope is born when all is forlorn.

Fair speech may hide a foul heart.

Never laugh at live dragons.

The world is full enough of hurts and mischances without wars to multiply them.

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

I remember thinking how often we look, but never see … we listen, but never hear … we exist, but never feel. We take our relationships for granted. A house is only a place. It has no life of its own. It needs human voices, activity and laughter to come alive.

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.

We don’t apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don’t get it, then don’t watch us.

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

Learn what is to be taken seriously and laugh at the rest.

Who would not have been laughed at if he had said in 1800 that metals could be extracted from their ores by electricity or that portraits could be drawn by chemistry.

There are some things so serious you have to laugh at them.