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The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I’m not kidding.

J. D. Salinger

Most stuff that is genuine is better left unsaid.
J. D. SALINGER

One Liner Philosophy
That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any.
J. D. SALINGER

Peace Place Yourself
Who in the Bible besides Jesus knew–knew–that we’re carrying the Kingdom of Heaven around with us, inside, where we’re all too goddam stupid and sentimental and unimaginative to look?
J. D. SALINGER

Carry Emotional Heaven Imaginational Stupidity
I’m one of the little foxes that spoil the grapes.
J. D. SALINGER

Food Myself Oneself
I love to write and I assure you I write regularly. But I write for myself, for my own pleasure. And I want to be left alone to do it.
J. D. SALINGER

Alone Happiness Love Myself Writing
Grand. There’s a word I really hate. It’s a phony. I could puke every time I hear it.
J. D. SALINGER

Hate Myself Phone Time Word
Why’s it so sunny? she repeated. Zooey observed her rather narrowly. I bring the sun wherever I go, buddy, he said.
J. D. SALINGER

Herself Sun
How long should a man’s legs be? Long enough to touch the ground.
J. D. SALINGER

Man Touch
It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything, and you felt like you were disappearing every time you crossed a road.
J. D. SALINGER

Cold Crazy Kind Road Sun Time
Make sure you marry someone who laughs at the same things you do.
J. D. SALINGER

Laugh Marriage Yourself
People always clap for the wrong reasons.
J. D. SALINGER

People Reason Wrong
But it wasn’t just that he was the most intelligent member in the family. He was also the nicest, in lots of ways. He never got mad at anybody. People with red hair are supposed to get mad very easily, but Allie never did, and he had very red hair.
J. D. SALINGER

Easy Family Hairs Himself Mad People
I’m the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life. It’s awful. If I’m on my way to the store to buy a magazine, even, and somebody asks me where I’m going, I’m liable to say I’m going to the opera. It’s terrible.
J. D. SALINGER

Lie Life Music Myself Travel
You can’t stop a teacher when they want to do something. They just do it.
J. D. SALINGER

Teaching Yourself
That’s something that annoys the hell out of me-I mean if somebody says the coffee’s all ready and it isn’t.
J. D. SALINGER

Hell Myself
I’m sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody.
J. D. SALINGER

Courage Myself Sickness
I just hope that one day – preferably when we’re both blind drunk – we can talk about it.
J. D. SALINGER

Drink Hope Myself Talk
Nobody who’s really using his ego, his real ego, has any time for any goddam hobbies.
J. D. SALINGER

Attitude Himself Reality
I’m up to my ears in unwritten words.
J. D. SALINGER

Myself Word Writing
She wasn’t doing a thing that I could see, except standing there leaning on the balcony railing, holding the universe together.
J. D. SALINGER

Exception Herself See Togetherness
I am a kind of paranoid in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.
J. D. SALINGER

Happiness Myself People
Know your true measurements and dress your mind accordingly.
J. D. SALINGER

Mindset True
Where do the ducks go in the winter?
J. D. SALINGER

Animal One Liner Winter
Sentimentality is loving something more than God does.
J. D. SALINGER

Emotional God Love
You never even worried, with Jane, whether your hand was sweaty or not. All you knew was, you were happy. You really were.
J. D. SALINGER

Hands Happiness Worry Yourself
It’s funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they’ll do practically anything you want them to.
J. D. SALINGER

Funny Understand
I don’t even know what I was running for—I guess I just felt like it.
J. D. SALINGER

Feeling Myself Run

The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I’m not kidding.

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The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I’m not kidding.

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