Every election is a sort of advance auction sale of stolen goods.
H. L. MENCKENPuritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
More H. L. Mencken Quotes
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The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.
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For every problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
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If a politician found he had cannibals among his constituents, he would promise them missionaries for dinner.
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The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
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Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.
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Equality before the law is probably forever unattainable. It is a noble ideal, but it can never be realized, for what men value in this world is not rights but privileges.
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The theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
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There’s really no point to voting. If it made any difference, it would probably be illegal.
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Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.
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Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
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In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
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Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule—and both commonly succeed, and are right.
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A professional politician is a professionally dishonorable man. In order to get anywhere near high office he has to make so many compromises and submit to so many humiliations that he becomes indistinguishable from a streetwalker.
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A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
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People do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
H. L. MENCKEN