A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKENA man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married.
H. L. MENCKENA church is a place in which gentlemen who have never been to Heaven brag about it to persons who will never get there.
H. L. MENCKENThe theory seems to be that as long as a man is a failure he is one of God’s children, but that as soon as he succeeds he is taken over by the Devil.
H. L. MENCKENPeople do not expect to find chastity in a whorehouse. Why, then, do they expect to find honesty and humanity in government, a congeries of institutions whose modus operandi consists of lying, cheating, stealing, and if need be, murdering those who resist?
H. L. MENCKENThe best teacher is not the one who knows most but the one who is most capable of reducing knowledge to that simple compound of the obvious and wonderful.
H. L. MENCKENMorality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.
H. L. MENCKENThe State doesn’t just want you to obey, it wants to make you WANT to obey.
H. L. MENCKENThe men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men they detest most violently are those who try to tell them the truth.
H. L. MENCKENIt is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
H. L. MENCKENThe one permanent emotion of the inferior man is fear – fear of the unknown, the complex, the inexplicable. What he wants above everything else is safety.
H. L. MENCKENIt is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.
H. L. MENCKENAfter all is said and done, a hell lot of a lot more is said than done.
H. L. MENCKENDemocracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
H. L. MENCKENFreedom of press is limited to those who own one.
H. L. MENCKENLaws are no longer made by a rational process of public discussion; they are made by a process of blackmail and intimidation, and they are executed in the same manner
H. L. MENCKENThe common argument that crime is caused by poverty is a kind of slander on the poor.
H. L. MENCKEN