“I never said I was gay, because I don’t think anyone is.”

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise.

The four most beautiful words in our common language: I told you so.

As a schoolboy, I read most of Carl Sandburg’s six-volume biography of Abraham Lincoln.

That loyal retainer of the Chase Manhattan Bank, the American president.

In character, as it were, the writer settles for an impression of what happened rather than creating the sense of the thing happening.

At any given moment, public opinion is a chaos of superstition, misinformation and prejudice.

I was like everyone else when Obama was elected – optimistic.

Some writers take to drink, others take to audiences.

Baseball is the favorite American sport because it’s so slow. Any idiot can follow it. And just about any idiot can play it.

One is sorry one could not have taken both branches of the road. But we were not allotted multiple selves.

Ayn Rand is a rhetorician who writes novels I have never been able to read.

Our form of democracy is bribery, on the highest scale.

It is not enough to succeed. Others must fail.

Nearly everyone who goes into a campaign is not only eager for the place he hopes to fill but for what might come after.

It is very difficult for a writer of my generation, if he is honest, to pretend indifference to the work of Somerset Maugham. He was always so entirely there.

I say that homosexuality is not just a form of sex, it’s a form of love, and it deserves our respect for that reason.

Life is a sexually transmitted terminal disease.

Jesus never said a word about homosexuality. In all of his teachings about multiple things – he never said that gay people should be condemned. I personally think it is very fine for gay people to be married in civil ceremonies.

Loads of my friends are lesbians, and it really annoys me that gay people aren’t allowed to get married in most parts of America. I’d go on a march for gay rights any time.

How can my son not be straight after all I’ve said and done for him?

I think the best day will be when we no longer talk about being gay or straight. It’s not a gay wedding, it’s just a wedding. It’s not a gay marriage, it’s just a marriage.

If we cannot have moral feelings against homosexuality, can we have it against murder? Can we have it against other things?

It’s not called being gay, it’s called being fabulous!