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I was 41 when I became a dad. I try to be as much fun as my father was, but I’m at home more – and less of a disciplinarian.

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Alone Become Dad Father Home More

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Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

It doesn’t matter how much of a hurry you think you are in. Be one of the people for whom ten minutes does not make a difference.
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Difference Hurry Matter Minute Much One Ten Think
I always say what I think to be amusing.
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Always Anything Say Thing
Not since Ancient Greece have cities been thought of as the ideal living environment for humans. And that was so long ago it predates the invention of trousers.
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Ancient City Country Environmental Human Idea Invention Live Long Not Predate Since Trouser
Of course you can get a decent mouthful of food in New York. You can get a decent mouthful of food in Nairobi.
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Country Course Denied Food Mouthful Nairobi
It was fine for my Polish Ashkenazi forebears to live on dumplings and potatoes, because they laboured in the fields. But that diet is unsuitable for an urban lifestyle.
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Country Dumpling Field Fine Forebear Labour Lifestyle People Polish Potato Unsuitable Urban
But still I can never shake the feeling that buses are somehow beneath me. Which is why I have a rule regarding their use: I never, ever run for one. And nor should you.
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Beneath Bus Feel Regard Rule Run Shake Somehow Still
All I care about is that people who like me think I’m funny. I get on with writing pretty straight-down the line, old-fashioned stuff.
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All Care Fashion Funny Old People Pretty Straight Stuff Write
The notion of getting pleasure from food has gone too far; we can also get pleasure from anticipating a meal, and from not being quite sated.
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Anticipate Being Far Food Gone Meal Motion Pleasure Quite
I have a tailor now, I have a doctor, a wine merchant, a jeweller, a gardener, a cleaner, and a nanny. It was clearly ridiculous that I did not have a hairdresser. So I got one.
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Clearly Doctor Gardner Hairdresser Many Merchant Ridiculous Tailor
When I tell people I spent almost a year in Paris, I know they imagine something out of a Woody Allen movie, which it wasn’t, of course. I was just working in a clothes shop, but I was aware that it was exciting.
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Cloth Excite Imagine Movie People Shop Sometime Work Year
I always feel quite Jewish but I used to deny it until I was in my twenties.
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Always Quite Deny Jewish Twenties Use
The first thing I remember is that my dad had a big iron Olivetti typewriter and he worked all night.
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Big Dad First Iron Night Olivetti Remember Thing Typewriter Work
I have quite good general knowledge and I had a very drilled education from an early age. I do know more than most people.
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Age Drill Early Education General Knowledge Most People Quite
I had become mean and stupid and deliberately hurtful because that is what is expected of restaurant critics. Of critics in general.
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Critic Deliberate Expect General Hurtful Mean Restaurant Stupid
People like me make modern life intolerable.
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Intolerable Life Mark Modern People
I would go swaggering into restaurants in some ridiculous tramp disguise, challenging them to mistreat me, order the things I was least likely to enjoy, then hurl my plate aside in a fury and demand to see the manager.
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Challenge Demand Disguise Hurt Likely Manager Mistreat Order Plate Restaurant Ridiculous Swagger Think Tramp

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