If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they’ll kill you.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAWYou don’t stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing.
More George Bernard Shaw Quotes
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A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
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Happy is the man who can make a living by his hobby.
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If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
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Silence is the most perfect expression of scorn.
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My way of joking is to tell the truth. It’s the funniest joke in the world.
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Youth is wasted on the young.
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Power does not corrupt men; fools, however, if they get into a position of power, corrupt power.
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Hatred is the coward’s revenge for being intimidated.
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Do not waste your time on Social Questions. What is the matter with the poor is Poverty what is the matter with the rich is Uselessness.
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After all, the wrong road always leads somewhere.
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Both optimists and pessimists contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute.
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People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.
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Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
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Imitation is not just the sincerest form of flattery – it’s the sincerest form of learning.
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Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t!
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To be in hell is to drift; to be in heaven is to steer.
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Better keep yourself clean and bright; you are the window through which you must see the world.
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We have no more right to consume happiness without producing it than to consume wealth without producing it.
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I choose not to make a graveyard of my body for the rotting corpses of dead animals.
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My religious convictions and scientific views cannot at present be more specifically defined than as those of a believer in creative evolution.
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The happiness of credulity is a cheap and dangerous quality of happiness, and by no means a necessity of life.
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Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve.
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Never lose a chance: it doesn’t come every day.
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In heaven an angel is no one in particular.
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Whisky is liquid sunshine.
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Liquor is the chloroform which enables the poor man to endure the painful operation of living.
GEORGE BERNARD SHAW