When humor goes, there goes civilization.
ERMA BOMBECKEncourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Children make your life important.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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Friends are “annuals” that need seasonal nurturing to bear blossoms. Family is a “perennial” that comes up year after year, enduring the droughts of absence and neglect. There’s a place in the garden for both of them.
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Housework, if it is done properly, can cause brain damage.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
ERMA BOMBECK







