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If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.

Ellen DeGeneres

We went to lunch and were talking about procrastination and the waitress overheard us and she said, ‘I have a problem with procrastination, too.’ I said ‘Really?… Get my sandwich.’
ELLEN DEGENERES

Lunch Procrastination Talking
Do we have to know who’s gay and who’s straight? Can’t we just love everybody and judge them by the car they drive?
ELLEN DEGENERES

Gay Hilarious Judging
Penguins mate for life. Which doesn’t really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It’s not like they’re gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Looks Penguins Surprise
I know that experts say you’re more likely to get hurt crossing the street than you are flying, but that doesn’t make me any less frightened of flying. If anything, it makes me more afraid of crossing the street.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Experts Flying Frightened Hurt Less
When there’s time for whistling, there’s a lot of time on a show.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Whistling
We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Finding Happiness Mind Trying
When I decided to have my character on the show come out, I knew I was going to have to come out, too. I never wanted to be the lesbian actress. I never wanted to be the spokesperson for the gay community. Ever. I did it for my own truth.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Character Community Gay
I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fitness Gym Health
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
It feels good. Kinda like when you have to shut your computer down, just sometimes when it goes crazy, you just shut it down and when you turn it on, it’s okay again. That’s what meditation is to me.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Crazy Inspiration Meditation Practice
It’s hard when paparazzi are photographing every single thing you do. I’m sure a lot of people made mistakes – they just were not documented the way they are now.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Mistakes People Photographing Way
I don’t think I remember my first memory.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Firsts Memories Thinking
I was raised in an atmosphere of ‘everything’s fine.’ But as I got older, I was like, ‘Well no, everything’s not fine. There is stuff that’s sad.’ I am a really sensitive person. I think I am too sensitive sometimes.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Atmosphere Person Sensitive Thinking
Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Decision Lines People
It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cucumbers Juice Source Water
Most people don’t get to laugh, be free, dance, be surrounded by this energy. It’s important to remind people to take that home. I want the world to start shifting [to] a more positive energy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Home Important Laughing People

If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.

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If someone ever says you’re weird, say thank you.

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