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It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

Ellen DeGeneres

I hope I make people feel better. I hope I take people out of their situations a little bit and make them happier. That’s really why I do what I do.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Better Feel Littles People
I’m so unfamiliar with the gym, I call it James!
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fitness Gym Health
You’re never too old to play. You’re only too old for low-rise jeans.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Fashion Jeans Play
We’re just trying to find happiness in the bodies and minds we were given, like everyone else.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Finding Happiness Mind Trying
I don’t pay attention to the number of birthdays. It’s weird when I say I’m 53. It just is crazy that I’m 53. I think I’m very immature. I feel like a kid. That’s why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can’t do certain things anymore – like doing the plank for 10 minutes.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Birthday Crazy Happy Kids
…we should be grateful for them because without our family-the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day-life is pretty boring.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Cousin Grateful Years
Emote. It’s okay. It shows you are thinking and feeling.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Feelings Okay Thinking
A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Car Room Rooms Tiny
I don’t want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: “That’s a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Baby Cute Funny
We put the wrong emphasis on what beauty is and what health is. Health is being vibrant and having energy and being happy.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Emphasis Energy Happy Vibrant
I’m sure there’s somebody out there who doesn’t like Betty White because she’s short and has white hair.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Hair Somebody White
Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I’ve been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I’m happy I could give him work.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Giving Humor
In the beginning there was nothing. God said, ‘Let there be light!’ And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Funny Humor Inspirational
I cannot imagine not going home to animals. They are the closest thing to God. They don’t harbour resentment.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Animal Home Pet Resentment
The way I see it… If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you’re doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Brain Funny Hands Humor
My dream guests are really not so much celebrities. They’re people who are actually interesting and they’re doing something interesting with their lives or had an interesting experience in some way. I really enjoy talking to regular, everyday people.
ELLEN DEGENERES

Dream Interesting Talking

It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

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It’s funny how cucumber water can taste so much better than pickle juice, even though they come from the same source.

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Popular Authors

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